A Witch’s Initiation

When I started on this pagan path over 10 years ago I certainly had a different outlook on Paganism and Wicca.  In the small town I grew up in everyone was Christian.  If there was a pagan presence in that small town it was well hidden.  So much so that I gather it probably didn’t want to be found.  This compounded with the mentality that seemingly strikes all small town folk that your town is an island.  It is the idea that since everything you need is all located with 15 square miles that traveling any distance outside of that is rare and is a hassle.  I didn’t know when I first started studying Wicca that there was an established community maybe only 30 minutes away that had worked hard for Pagan rights and awareness.  The internet was still young, hand written notes were common, and stopping by a strangers house to use the phone was perfectly ok.  Cell phones, email, and broadband internet were definitely around but life moves slower in small towns.  People had free time in the evenings to sit and listen to the Earth move.  Finding a book about the craft was special.  I still could never find one in my town, but had to go to the neighboring town that had a mall to find such things.  It was still only a 15 minute car ride.  I remember how I felt the first time I read about Initiation in a book.  It talked about coven initiation primarily but that really wasn’t an option for me.  I had been studying paganism for just over a year and hadn’t met any other pagans.  Just like my town, I had become an Island.  My only contact with other pagans were angelfire websites that would load on the family’s dial up connection.  A coven was far to foreign for initiation but still once I decided that I was pagan I knew I wanted to initiate.  I also knew that at that moment I wasn’t quite ready.  The want was there but  I felt like I hadn’t earn it yet.  I needed to live as a pagan and learn more before I gave myself over fully to this path.  I started a Book of Shadows, studied correspondence, read about the religion, and slowly came to a point were I had affirmed this faith I had enough to present it to my newly found Gods and Goddesses.

I looked up into the night.  My senses on fire and my energy through the roof.  I didn’t know what to call them so I referred to Deity as my Lord and Lady.  I proclaimed, “Lord and Lady, my name is Keegan.  I come to you in humble service. So Mote it Be.”  I’m sure there was more but that was all improved and ramblings of a star struck teenager.  I remember the warm breeze that night.  I remember crying, and finally feeling free.  I felt accepted, not by myself or friends and family, but rather acknowledged by the Gods that I was heard and that they were going to hold be to that vow… a vow of service.  If anything I felt humbled, and when I took that first step away from my make shift circle and came back into this world and this life I knew things would never be the same.  I was no longer an island.

Now I start another beginning and I find myself again at Initiation.  Tomorrow I will be initiated into Rose Hollow Coven and will have earned my First Degree.  It is as it should be, an acknowledgement of service to my Lord and Lady.  There is benefit though to being a part of a coven.  I have a wiser HP and HPS to help me walk through it this time and I can offer the coven my service.  With their help I hope to become a better pagan and well rounded High Priest.  I also hope that I am able to teach them a few things.  Knowing the kind of people they are I know they appreciate all of their coveners and are constantly growing as people and pagans themselves.   I feel ready at this point to be apart of that relationship.  I know I have much room for growth, but also know that will come with further diligent study and time.

Thoughts on Man Panels

About 90 days ago I had the good fortune to be a part of a special panel of men.  I am getting a little ahead of myself so let me back up a tad.  My wife and our High Priestess get together once a month and host a delightful podcast called Shhh! There are Pagans in Texas.  A few months ago they did a short segment over the role of men in Paganism and Wicca.  Unfortunately at the time all of the men in their lives were busy so it was a segment on men by women.  In all fairness they did have our input via email and were acting on our behalf, but it wasn’t good enough.  Their fans and listeners insisted that they have a discussion panel of men to go over the subject again in length.  Enter Keegan, 3 High Priests, and a little inspiration.

 

We’re men, MANLY men, we’re men in tights. Yeah!

We roam around the forest looking for fights. We’re men, we’re men in tights.

We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that’s right!

We may look like pansies, but don’t get us wrong or else we’ll put out your lights.

We’re men, we’re men in tights (TIGHT tights), Always on guard defending the people’s rights.

When you’re in a fix just call for the men in tights! We’re butch.

 

 

So as I said I had to do this panel with 3 High Priest.  I am not easily intimidated but this was kind of heavy.  I remember being quite nervous the night before and staying up late to prepare.  I wasn’t sure of the format or what kind of questions were going to be asked so I decided to write some of my own.  If anything I knew I could fall back on them if needed.  In the long run I’m glad I did write out some thoughts because I ended up kind of MC’ing the panel and asking some of the questions I wrote down.   So we had Charles, High Priest of Wren’s Nest coven and an active Pagan in the DFW community for at least 20 years.  There was Beowulf, High Priest of Rose Hollow coven and my current HP.  Next is Nikki Tree High Priest of Circle of the Moon American Tradition of the Goddess, also representing the gay male pagans out there.  Finally there is me… not High Priest, Pagan for only one decade but as the others put it maybe I can offer a seeker’s perspective.

So go check it out, then come back and tell me what you think.  Maybe share it with some friends, whatevs.

Thoughts on the journey, and a possible destination.

Well here it is, my first post of the new year.  What a weird year it has been.  This time last year I had just started this blog.  I wanted a blog because it was part of an affirmation to actually be pagan.  You see about this time last year my wife and I decided that we really wanted to share this religious thing with one another.  We had tried a few times in the past but had never really found a way to break that wall and let each other in.  The solution was to find a coven.  That way we could fulfill a lot of the goals that we shared; make pagan friends, be more pagan,  and share rituals with one another amongst other things.  We also both started blogs.  For me it has been a place to collect some thoughts.  I wanted to put some things out there into the unknown and share my journey.  Romantically it was maybe the hope that there were other people out there, like me, looking for a wiccan friend.  Maybe that is vain for me to think that way.  Now, here we are one year later.  Its time to reflect on the journey.

What  have learned about blogging:

• If you have never done it before, there is a hurdle to overcome.
• Regular time has to be set aside for research and writing.
• An idea about what you want to accomplish with the blog is a must.
• Don’t expect people to read what you write.
• It is ok to write how you talk and keep things real. Personality trumps grammar.
• If you want more readers, blog about the shallow things like tv and movies.
• Don’t expect people to respond to what you write.
• If you have a theme, stick to it.
• Content can be hard to come up with.
• Time when you have too much content to write can be hard to come up with.

I suppose I could go on and on.  I had never seriously kept a blog before.  I remember having a live journal back when LJ was new and cool.  It was so 2000.  I never said much on it, but check it out if you like.  Whined a little, but never cared much to really say anything important on it.  It is funny looking back on it now like some kind of Time Capsule.  After 37 post last year I have come to some conclusions about this blog/site.

Looking Forward:

I really like some of the posts I did last year.  I think that I should remember to post some of the more mundane stuff.  While working on larger projects I should check in and post some nice random tid bits.

I want to empty my drafts box.  It is where I store all my ideas for new post.  I need to go through those topics and just empty them out.

I really want to post more music.  I am fortunate to have something that I am really good at, and I should share that.

I have notice the the #1 way people find my site is by searching for Tarot.  I should really develop that section of the site more.

Overall I really like the fact this is more of a Blog, but a compendium of different things like the Music section and the Book of Shadows.  I am committed to that format moving forward as it gives me multiple ways of  reaching out when I get bored.

I really want to thank my subscribers.  

You are few but I appreciate knowing that there is a handful of people out there interested in what I have to say.  What would you guys like to see more of?  Random everyday bloggy kind of stuff, more witchy things, tarot, just name it and I’ll keep it in mind.

Blessed Be

Thoughts on busyness, business, and making room

Merry meet fellow pagans, and anyone who happens across the site who may not be pagan.  Fall is in full swing here in Texas and although only a couple of days ago it was a balmy 78 degrees, it has turned cold again and hopefully it will stick.  My only hope for the warm few days we had is maybe it will cut down the wasp and insect population.  Originally I had planned something very timely for this post but something unexpected happened and instead I’ll share a story about love between friends lost.  It has been a awhile since my last post and I really wanted to share something so I am just winging the content today.

Busyness:  Tis the season.  I find this time of year is so active.  October kicks off this time of busyness that doesn’t really stop until the first of the year.  I think we celebrated 3 Samhains, had an October and November coven class, Thanksgiving, family stuff, and it will keep going with endless shopping and preparing for the upcoming Yule and Christmas.  This makes things like study and self reflection hard to do, but I urge everyone that if your schedule is anything like mine to take even a short amount of time to get lost in meditation.

Business:  I make it a point not to talk about my business in blog posts.  I do this mostly because I don’t want the blog or site to be seen as an advertisement with a thin pagan veil.  So please don’t take the following as an advert.  I really just want to flush some bad feelings out of my system and put out some welcoming energy.  Business can be tough.  When it is good, it is good.  It makes you feel on top of the world.  When it is bad, it is bad.  It makes you feel like the world as been turned upside down and its full weight bears down on your shoulders.  Summer was fairly good to us and we made some good strides with future plans and ironing out a lot of details on moving forward.  Unfortunately, as with all things, there is an ebb and flow and we have to except the good with the bad.  The bad has gotten to me lately.  Last year this time was tough as well and I was kind of expecting another slow period.  We set up some special programs to try and drum up business with some great incentives both for

Click for Funny!

new clients and for our sales force, but it is turning out to be just as dry as last year.  That being said, I am putting out there before time is out this year that I will not lay down.  I won’t give in to the weight of my problems.  I will welcome it with open arms in hopes that I will have new opportunities and hard times will pass.  *Update*  I often write these posts in stages with several days going by in between writing down my thoughts or working on other post.  I have always put my finger in multiple pies like that.  Since starting this post business has really turned around.  We have 3 more client with another 3 on the way.  That is quite frankly amazing for this time of year.  I wish I could take credit for rolling up my sleeves and getting the job done but I have been sick with fever and in bed for the last 4 days so the credit and thanks really goes out to my business partner who really should believe in miracles.  Maybe it is just the power of positive thinking.

Making Room:  Originally for this post I wanted to put out some magick work to coincide with a very unique part of this time of year.  I have also felt the Samhain going into to Yule is the time of year where we should concentrate on making room in our lives for the things we truly need.  This may mean that we cull from those things which we have too much of, or even eliminating those things from our lives that we find are in excess.  I thought it would be a good exercise for me as well as a way to share with the readership a more intimate form of my magick.  My thoughts on this changed when something quite unexpected happed while I was having an outing with my wife.  We were out doing some Christmas shopping and were going to catch an early afternoon movie at a dollar theater when we decided to kill some time before the movie at a coffee shop.  We walked into the small coffee place and standing behind the counter was an old friend that we haven’t seen in over a year and a half.  We used to be part of a group of fairly close friends a few years ago.  It was a super group of 6 guys who all worked for a used gaming store and our wives/significant others.  We also all played online games together like World of Warcraft and Warhammer Online.  Honestly there was a time when we were all super close, and would talk about our futures together and helping each other navigate the perils of life.  I also appreciated that we were an inter faith group with an atheist, baptists, a catholic, and a wiccan all interested in each others unique point of view.  At least I thought that was the case.  One year my wife and I threw a Halloween party for the group and I let one of the other girls talk me into giving a Tarot reading for her.  I think that may have been the moment where they realized that we weren’t just kinda pagan but really pagan.  From that moment forward the group drifted away from us.  They became distant friends pretty quickly.  Wouldn’t make time for us and made plans with other members of the group.  We were  hurt and felt pretty poorly about the whole situation.  Life moved forward, and I think I had finally come to terms with losing them all as friends until we ran into one of them at the coffee shop.  We had a great conversation and he brought some things to light that made both me and my wife feel a little better about what had happened.  Needless to say now I have to think about what I need to hold to and what I should push aside to make room.  Maybe the universe was telling me not to give up yet, but to give it another shot.

Well, if you made it though that wall of text then you have earned some congratulations.  This has been quite a lengthy entry.  Thanks for your attention and I charge all of you readers to think about what it is that you don’t have need for this Winter.  Maybe there is a little room you can make for yourselves.  Blessed Be.