A Witch's Initiation

When I started on this pagan path over 10 years ago I certainly had a different outlook on Paganism and Wicca.  In the small town I grew up in everyone was Christian.  If there was a pagan presence in that small town it was well hidden.  So much so that I gather it probably didn’t want to be found.  This compounded with the mentality that seemingly strikes all small town folk that your town is an island.  It is the idea that since everything you need is all located with 15 square miles that traveling any distance outside of that is rare and is a hassle.  I didn’t know when I first started studying Wicca that there was an established community maybe only 30 minutes away that had worked hard for Pagan rights and awareness.  The internet was still young, hand written notes were common, and stopping by a strangers house to use the phone was perfectly ok.  Cell phones, email, and broadband internet were definitely around but life moves slower in small towns.  People had free time in the evenings to sit and listen to the Earth move.  Finding a book about the craft was special.  I still could never find one in my town, but had to go to the neighboring town that had a mall to find such things.  It was still only a 15 minute car ride.  I remember how I felt the first time I read about Initiation in a book.  It talked about coven initiation primarily but that really wasn’t an option for me.  I had been studying paganism for just over a year and hadn’t met any other pagans.  Just like my town, I had become an Island.  My only contact with other pagans were angelfire websites that would load on the family’s dial up connection.  A coven was far to foreign for initiation but still once I decided that I was pagan I knew I wanted to initiate.  I also knew that at that moment I wasn’t quite ready.  The want was there but  I felt like I hadn’t earn it yet.  I needed to live as a pagan and learn more before I gave myself over fully to this path.  I started a Book of Shadows, studied correspondence, read about the religion, and slowly came to a point were I had affirmed this faith I had enough to present it to my newly found Gods and Goddesses.

I looked up into the night.  My senses on fire and my energy through the roof.  I didn’t know what to call them so I referred to Deity as my Lord and Lady.  I proclaimed, “Lord and Lady, my name is Keegan.  I come to you in humble service. So Mote it Be.”  I’m sure there was more but that was all improved and ramblings of a star struck teenager.  I remember the warm breeze that night.  I remember crying, and finally feeling free.  I felt accepted, not by myself or friends and family, but rather acknowledged by the Gods that I was heard and that they were going to hold be to that vow… a vow of service.  If anything I felt humbled, and when I took that first step away from my make shift circle and came back into this world and this life I knew things would never be the same.  I was no longer an island.

Now I start another beginning and I find myself again at Initiation.  Tomorrow I will be initiated into Rose Hollow Coven and will have earned my First Degree.  It is as it should be, an acknowledgement of service to my Lord and Lady.  There is benefit though to being a part of a coven.  I have a wiser HP and HPS to help me walk through it this time and I can offer the coven my service.  With their help I hope to become a better pagan and well rounded High Priest.  I also hope that I am able to teach them a few things.  Knowing the kind of people they are I know they appreciate all of their coveners and are constantly growing as people and pagans themselves.   I feel ready at this point to be apart of that relationship.  I know I have much room for growth, but also know that will come with further diligent study and time.

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